How to introduce Sex Toys to your Relationship – Beginners Guide
How to introduce Sex Toys into your relationship? A lot of us have been there. Picture this: you and your partner are snuggled up on the couch, binge-watching your favorite show when a cheeky commercial for a sex toy pops up. Your heart races, and suddenly, you’re both giggling and stealing glances at each other. This could be the perfect moment to bring up the idea of spicing things up with a little toy action!
How to Introduce Sex Toys: Your 8 Steps to Spice Things Up!
Thinking about introducing sex toys into your relationship but not sure how to start? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Adding toys to the mix can be a fun and exciting way to deepen your connection and explore new sensations together. Whether you’re seasoned pros or complete beginners, this guide will help you approach the conversation and integrate sex toys into your love life smoothly, without the awkwardness. Let’s get started!
1. Kickstart the Conversation with Open Communication
Communication is the secret sauce to introducing anything new into your relationship, and sex toys are no different. It’s important to be open and honest about your desires. Start the conversation in a light, non-pressuring way, saying something like, “I’ve been thinking about ways to make our time together even more exciting—what do you think about exploring some new experiences?” Framing it as a fun, shared adventure can help ease any tension and make it feel less like a serious “talk” and more like an exciting opportunity to connect. The key here is to make it clear that it’s about mutual exploration and enhancing your connection—not about “fixing” anything.
2. Pick the Right Moment (Timing Is Everything!)
When it comes to introducing new things into the relationship, timing is crucial. Avoid bringing up the idea of sex toys during a stressful time, or when your partner’s distracted or tired. Instead, choose a relaxed, intimate moment when you’re both in a good mood and feeling connected—perhaps during a cozy evening at home, after a nice dinner, or while enjoying a glass of wine. The more comfortable the setting, the easier the conversation will flow. Setting the tone with a calm, positive environment helps ensure that the topic feels natural and easy to discuss.
3. Share Your Curiosity and Explore Together
Let your curiosity shine when talking about sex toys! Explain why you’re interested in trying them and how you think they could enhance your connection. You might say something like, “I’ve been reading about some really fun toys that could add a whole new layer of enjoyment to our time together. How would you feel about trying something new?” This way, you’re approaching it from a place of curiosity and openness, showing that this is something you both can explore together. The goal is to spark mutual interest, so share how excited you are about discovering new sensations and experiences as a couple.
And maybe avoid starting the conversation with a car full of toys… trust me, it’s all about easing into things!
4. Start Small: No Need to Dive Into the Deep End Right Away!
If you and your partner are both new to the idea of sex toys, there’s no need to rush into anything too advanced. Start with something simple and beginner-friendly. Small vibrators, couples’ rings, or even lubricants with extra sensation are great options for easing into the experience without feeling overwhelmed. The key is to make it fun and lighthearted, allowing both of you to feel comfortable and excited. Once you both feel more at ease with the idea, you can start exploring more adventurous toys. But starting small helps build confidence and ensures a positive experience as you both dip your toes into the world of toys!
5. Make It an Adventure!
Why not turn shopping for sex toys into a fun, shared activity? Make it an exciting date night where you both explore the options together, either by browsing online or heading to a toy store in person. It’s a great way to share your thoughts and preferences in a light, playful way. You can even make a game out of it—pick out toys for each other without revealing them until later! The goal is to make it an enjoyable exploration, not a task. You’ll find that shopping for toys together can actually bring you closer and spark fun conversations about your desires and fantasies.
6. Respect Boundaries—No Pressure!
It’s essential to approach the topic with respect and care for your partner’s boundaries. If they seem hesitant or uncomfortable, don’t push it. Everyone’s comfort level with sex toys varies, and that’s okay! If your partner needs more time to think about it, that’s perfectly fine—give them the space they need to process. Reassure them that introducing toys isn’t about replacing anything in your relationship; it’s simply about enhancing your intimacy and discovering new ways to enjoy each other. Let them know that their comfort is your priority and that this is just one more tool to help you both experience more pleasure together.
7. Focus on Connection, Not Just Toys
One of the biggest misconceptions about using sex toys is that they’ll replace intimacy. That’s simply not true! The goal of using toys is to enhance your connection and deepen the intimacy between you and your partner. Make it clear that sex toys are not about “fixing” anything but about exploring new sensations and making your time together even more enjoyable. For example, you could say something like, “I think exploring new sensations together could be really fun and give us even more ways to enjoy each other. It’s all about deepening our connection.” Keep the focus on the emotional and physical intimacy that will come from exploring new experiences together.
8. Stay Positive, Open, and Keep It Fun!
Once you both decide to try sex toys, approach the experience with a positive attitude and an open mind. Don’t put too much pressure on the situation—remember, it’s about enjoying the process together. If something doesn’t work out as expected or if you both laugh it off, that’s part of the fun! The goal is to have a positive experience and to feel comfortable experimenting and sharing your thoughts. Keep the vibe light and playful, and don’t worry about getting everything perfect. Just enjoy the journey, laugh at the mishaps, and learn together along the way.
A Story from my life about how to introduce Sex Toys
A while ago, I was chatting with a friend who told me a funny story about introducing toys into her relationship. She and her boyfriend decided to go shopping for a toy together, thinking it would be a fun way to spice things up. But when they arrived at the store, my friend felt a little awkward, so she sent her boyfriend in first to pick something out. She figured he’d be the brave one and take the lead.
As he walked into the store, she waited nervously outside, watching him through the window. When he came back out, though, she couldn’t believe her eyes—he was holding a toy that was definitely not for couples! It was a large, very elaborate… well, let’s just say it wasn’t anything either of them had in mind. He looked totally confused, holding up this random item, not sure if it was the right choice.
Instead of feeling embarrassed, they both burst into laughter. It turned out to be the perfect icebreaker, and they ended up buying it as a joke to keep the mood light. The whole experience helped them both feel more at ease talking about toys and their desires, and it made the whole process a lot less intimidating. Sometimes, just laughing at the little mix-ups can be the perfect way to open up about new things together!
FAQ: Common Questions About Introducing Sex Toys
1. What if my partner says no?
No worries if your partner isn’t on board right away! It’s perfectly normal for them to feel a bit uncertain or shy about adding toys into the mix. If they’re not ready, take it slow. You can always bring up the topic again down the line—maybe after watching a movie or show that touches on the idea. Let them know that your curiosity is about exploring new ways to connect together. With time, they might warm up to the idea, especially when they see it’s coming from a place of love and fun!
2. How do I choose the right toy for us?
Choosing a toy together can be an exciting little adventure! Start by chatting about what you both find intriguing—do you want to explore vibrations, add a new sensation, or go for something interactive? For first-timers, it can be helpful to start with a small, beginner-friendly toy, like a mini-vibe or a couple’s ring. Shop together online, read some playful reviews, or even watch some lighthearted toy guides. By making the selection together, you’ll pick something that brings out the excitement for both of you, making the whole experience more enjoyable.
3. Will using toys change our intimacy?
Think of toys as a fun add-on to your relationship toolkit! Rather than replacing your connection, toys add a fresh layer to what you already share. They’re there to help you both feel more pleasure and try out new experiences, helping you feel more in tune with each other. Couples often find that using toys leads to even more open and playful communication, bringing you closer. It’s a way to turn up the fun, spark fresh excitement, and discover new things about each other.
4. Can toys help with performance anxiety?
Yes, absolutely! Sex toys can make intimacy feel lighter and more playful, taking some of the pressure off “performance” and shifting the focus to simply having a good time. Toys provide extra stimulation, so there’s less pressure to make things “perfect,” allowing you both to relax and go with the flow. This can make things more enjoyable and less about meeting specific expectations—just let the toy do some of the work and enjoy the ride!
5. How do I bring up the topic again if it didn’t go well the first time?
If the first conversation didn’t quite land, don’t worry! The second time around, try bringing it up during a casual, cozy moment, like while you’re cuddling or enjoying a glass of wine. Keep it lighthearted, maybe mentioning something funny you read or saw. Framing it as something you’d like to explore together keeps the vibe relaxed. By keeping things pressure-free and positive, you’re making space for a new, more open conversation without any pressure.
6. Are there toys specifically designed for couples?
Yes, and they’re amazing! There are tons of fun toys created just for couples, from vibrating rings to remote-controlled toys and app-connected options for long-distance fun. These toys are designed to make pleasure mutual, giving both partners a chance to enjoy the sensations. Whether you’re looking for something that brings you closer or adds a playful twist, there’s a whole world of couple-friendly toys waiting to be explored.
7. Can we use toys if we’re already satisfied in our sex life?
Absolutely! Toys aren’t just for couples looking to “spice things up.” Even if your sex life is already amazing, toys can add a new layer of fun and discovery. They’re all about exploration and variety, and they can turn even the best connections into a whole new adventure. So go ahead—dive into the world of toys and add some extra sparkle to your already awesome intimacy!
Conclusion: A New Adventure Awaits if you introduce Sex Toys
Introducing sex toys into your relationship is more than just adding a fun new element; it’s about elevating intimacy, creating shared memories, and unlocking fresh layers of connection and trust. This journey, when approached with openness, curiosity, and mutual respect, can transform how you and your partner experience each other, bringing you closer in ways you might never have expected.
Curious to know more? I wrote this blogpost about the Best Sex Toys for Couples
The beauty of this adventure lies in its ability to enhance what’s already great between you both. Every playful discovery and shared laugh adds new depth to your bond. Start with an open conversation, setting a foundation built on mutual respect and understanding, and let yourselves relax into the journey. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to explore this new chapter together—it’s all about what feels good and natural for you both.
Maybe it begins with browsing a website or toy shop together, laughing as you pick out options, or trying out one small toy to get comfortable. Each step forward is a chance to connect in new ways and build trust as you explore each other’s desires. And, even if something doesn’t go as planned or feels a little silly at first, embrace it! The joy is in the journey, not just the destination.
If you’re ready to take the plunge, go ahead and take that step! Here’s to a love life filled with more laughter, closeness, and a whole lot of unforgettable moments. A more exciting and connected relationship awaits, so go on—embrace this new adventure together!
